Civil Discourse

I haven’t blogged for several weeks because I’ve been busy traveling this summer and, quite frankly, I ran out of things to say. I strongly feel that if you’re going to blog then it better be worthy of your readers’ attention. 

In the past several days, there have been a number of mass shootings in America: in Dayton, El Paso and Gilroy. The investigation of each incident is ongoing but they are all unified by a lone shooter who had access to assault weapons and apparently had racially-based or personal issues. The continuing escalation of these shootings is alarming and disheartening, and I feel totally helpless. What’s an average citizen of this violent country to do? As a person of faith, I can only turn to prayer. 

With every shooting, it has been my sad custom to post a photo or gif of a lit candle on my Facebook and Instagram and ask for prayers for the victims and their families. This usually generates responses of solidarity, but this morning, after news of the Dayton shootings broke, I entered into the following dialogue with my friend Dennis, an old buddy from high school. I want to share this string in its entirety. 

Ken: Offering Sunday prayers for victims and families affected by mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton. Will this never end? #LordHaveMercy

Dennis: Thoughts and Prayers.......are what we do.....when we really don't want to do anything....

Ken: Maybe. I’m in the middle of Sunday liturgy right now. Will get back to you.

Ken: (a few hours later) It depends on who is saying “Thoughts and prayers.” You will notice I did not use that phrase, and I agree it rings hallow when spoken by politicians and legislators who have a direct responsibility to take action for public safety by passing stricter gun laws and providing more effective mental health services, among other things. “Thoughts and prayers,” my a$$. They need to get off their comfortable duffs and DO something! And if they don’t then we need to boot them out and elect people who will. (1 of 5)

Ken: Having said that, as a person of faith I refuse to stand by and watch people bash prayer. First, there is a general misunderstanding by many people on what prayer is. It’s NOT a way to “change God’s mind” or influence the Divine into granting a request, as if God were a department store Santa Claus. For me, prayer is entering into God’s presence in solidarity with or on behalf of those who request or need my prayers. Prayer doesn’t change God but perhaps it will change me and how I handle the things life throws at me. (2 of 5)

Ken: As the mass shootings sadly continue to escalate, it occurs to me that those victims had no opportunity to make peace with their God or say goodbye to their loved ones, an opportunity we all hope to have when we die. So I pray on behalf of the victims, that somehow in their abrupt transition from this life they indeed experienced God’s loving mercy. And I pray for strength and comfort for their families and friends. (3 of 5)

Ken: This perhaps does not make any sense to a lot of people. But as a person of faith, it’s all I can cling to at times like this. (4 of 5)

Ken: It’s also tied in with the question of evil. Why does God permit such unspeakable horrors in our world? I don’t have an answer for that. I really don’t. But that’s not going to stop me from believing. (5 of 5)

Ken: Peace be with you, Dennis. 

Dennis: And also with you, Ken. Thank you for your thoughtful and prayerful reflections. I do not bash prayer. I bash empty sympathy – of which I do not accuse you of. "Thoughts and Prayers" for many mean, in essence, "You are on your own. God may help you, but I won't."

Ken: Thanks, Dennis. I did not mean to accuse you of bashing prayer. I know you are a man with a good heart. And your point is well taken about the “you are on your own” attitude.

George: (another Facebook friend) A well-spoken series of comments, Ken. I don’t use the words “thoughts and prayers” either because I have heard them too many times from elected leaders who then shirk their duties to serve their constituents and respond with real action to deal with a horrifying problem in our society. Thanks, Ken.

Ken: Thanks, George. Without bragging, I hope this string serves as an example of how it’s possible to have meaningful civil discourse on social media without resorting to name calling or mean insults.

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Polite civil discourse on social media. Is it possible? Yes, if we try hard, respect people who disagree with us, and have an open mind.