A Mother's Love

Reflection on Terence Canedo by his mother Betty
Read at the Memorial Mass by his brother Keith
August 4, 2010

My son, Terence Patrick “Tops,” was not just a son to me. He was also my right-hand man and my caretaker. He was a jack-of-all-trades. He did all the repairs around the house and even put up a new roof. He took care of all the chores and tended the yard and planted beautiful flowers for me – sweet-smelling roses and gardenias, the two flowers that he loved, and several other lovely plants.

Terence was a loving, thoughtful and generous son. He took me to several entertainment places such as Disneyland, the zoo and the Pomona County Fair, pushing me in my wheel chair. He treated me to Medieval Times on many occasions. We celebrated Mother’s Day there last May and arranged for their special package that allowed us to sit two rows from the arena where we could almost touch the knights. He took me to see Cirque du Soleil, to Santa Monica Pier, and even to several movies, knowing that I would not even hear what the actors were saying on the screen.

Terence never forgot to bring me long-stemmed roses for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and my birthday. He even brought me roses when all my teeth had to come out, just to cheer me up from my pain. Out of the blue, he would often come home with a bunch of flowers for no special reason but to cheer me up.

My son and I had a very special bond and he could often read what was on my mind. This was proven several times, and here are two examples. Sometimes I crave certain foods and wish that Terence would get me some on his way home from work. Sure enough, he would come home with just the food I was thinking of. One day, I ran out of lemons, but it was late in the evening so I wished that Terence would pick me some lemons from our tree before he went to work. When I woke up in the morning to fix breakfast there in the sink were the fresh-picked lemons. I was amazed. When he would do these things I would thank him and tell him he read my mind again. And Terence would just give me a big smile.

While sitting at his bedside at his hospice room on that final night together, it occurred to me that this would be my last opportunity to thank my son for everything he did for me. Running my hands gently over his arm, I said softly, “Terence, I want to thank you for being my son. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for taking me to Disneyland, the zoo, and the fair while pushing me all the way on my wheelchair. Thank you for taking me to Medieval Times and to Cirque du Soleil. Thank you for the beautiful garden and the new roof. Thank you for taking me to the movies. Thank you for all that and so much more!

“But there is one other blessing for which I am grateful. Thank you for a lovely and loving granddaughter. Katya is my lasting connection with you now. You will always live in my heart through her. I pray that Katya will continue to grow in the love and wisdom that you imparted to her.”

As I sat there beside Terence on that final night, it pained me to watch his agony as he gasped for every breath. I gave up my selfish desire to want him to live. So around 10:00 that night I softly spoke to him. “Terence, I release you, my son. We all release you. Do not fight it anymore. Let it go, my son. Go with God. Jesus is waiting for you. Let it go.”

Still, he clung to life with every labored breath. As I watched him I kept telling him in my mind to let go and finally, around 7:10 on Sunday morning, he stopped breathing. I was filled with two emotions: joy for his being finally released from his pain; and sorrow for losing my beloved son. But the joy exceeded my sorrow. I went to him and kissed his forehead and cheek as I stroked his forehead and said, “You are free, my son. You are finally free! Go with God! Jesus is waiting for you.” My tears rolled freely to his pillow.

So from now on, whenever I smell roses or gardenias around the house, I will think of you and ask, “Is that you, Terence, my son?”

Rest in peace, my son, my dearest son. I love you.

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My mother is very hearing-impaired and has lived with the challenging effects of Diabetes Type 2 for many years. Please pray for her. Thank you.
-Ken